The atmosphere around the dinner table was as thick as fog. Mark ate his dinner in silence while Lea was absentmindedly playing with her fork, not even noticing the lovely mess Lori was making with her pumkin.
Something was bothering Lea and he couldn’t stop the feeling of unease growing in his gut. He looked around their open planned living/ dinning room. As usual everything was neat and tidy to the point of near perfection. If she was sick there would have been a forgotten cup next to the couch, a toy would remain out of place and the laundry basket would still be full. But most importantly Mark thought, he wouldn’t be eating a proper meal of three different vegetables, brown rice and roasted chicken. Lea didn’t like cooking big when she was under the weather. But then again she had the uncanny ability to keep to herself. Never complaining of so much as a headache or a slight cold. Never asking questions or making demands. In all aspects, Mark thought, he had the perfect wife. That is if perfect means to be married to a ice queen with almost no passion. How he longed for Lea to be like…abrubtly he stood up. He can not be thinking about her now, not when Lea is obviously troubled by something.
“Thank you Lea. Dinner was delicious,” he said. Mostly to break the terible silence.
“Oh,” Lea said startled before placing her fork down, “It’s a pleasure.”
He bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips, knowing that it was out of habit and to save face and feeling worse because of it.
He was stuck between a rock and a very hard place. He wanted out yet he knew it wasn’t fair to Lea or his sweet tempered young daughter. He knew that he was very selfish to love another woman while his very faithfull wife was giving him a very comfortable home and raising their daughter with such tenderness that it left him feeling sufocated.
Feeling lost between his passionate love afair and the responsiblity of his marriage he went to sit in front of the telivision to watch the seven o’clock news while Lea picked Lori up from the table and walked in the direction of the bathroom. He should have offered to bathe his child, he knew but he didn’t feel up to it. He missed her too much.
He made a concentrated efford later that night to make love with his wife. Lea didn’t make any objections when he pulled her closer and kissed her. She closed her eyes when his left hand cupped her breast. It wasn’t because she enjoyed it. His touch left her cold and the stabbing pains in her heart left her nearly breathless. He broke the kiss and entered her with quick, short thrusts. She made the apropriate soft grunting noices to make him believe that she was enjoying it. The letter with the seductive kiss below her name kept running through her head. It’s contents burned into her memory.
I’ve been missing you terribly since our last time together, remembering the way you made love with me…
She was thankfull when Mark pulled out of her and gave her a short peck on the lips. It was done, over now and she knew that he would fall asleep within a few minutes.
She reach out to put the night light off before making herself comfortable beneath the plain blue comforter. She knew sleep wouldn’t come easy as she listen to Mark’s even breathing.
She closed her eyes, remembering the first time she saw him at the youth group. He was so handsome with his shining green eyes nearly covered by his longish black hair. She remembered staring at the muscles in his arms. He caught her staring and with a dazzling smile that lit up his whole face he looked her straight in the face and then he winked.
Without knowing his name or even speaking to him she knew she was deeply in love. When he asked her afterwards if she wanted to go to a nearby restaurant for coffee.She was so astonished that he had invited her for coffee that she barely got a word out. They drove in seperate cars. He in his brand new looking Volkswagen Polo and she in her run down Mini Cooper that her mother gave her when she finished school at Riverdale High.
At the restaurant they ordered bottomless coffee and a plate of greasy potato chips. They talked for hours on end until their waiter informed them that they were closing for the day.
She found out during their conversation that he’s name was Mark, 28 years old and that he worked for a small IT company and played guitar whenever he had time too and he loved the Lord. She couldn’t believe her luck at finding a friend that shared her faith. They got engage six months later and another six months later they got married in the same little church where she met him the first time. Lori was born a year later.
Life was beautifull or at least it was up untill now. How did it happen that Mark is cheating on her? More importantly how did it happen that they moved away from church and God when they once where so passionate about serving Him and saving lost souls?
Oh dear God, Lea prayed silently, what am i suppose to do now? I feel so angry and dissapointed but most off all I”m feeling lost.
Lea fell asleep with a soft, tender voice in her head said, “Be still and know that I am God,”